We went to a music festival this weekend where the lineup included Alanis Morrisette and The Killers along with a dozen other bands I had never heard of. I like that Adan makes me step outside of my comfort zone in this way. If it were up to me, we would be eating spaghetti on the couch in front of the TV every single weekend.
I finally caved and bought some summer maternity clothes. It has been 150 million degrees (take your pick: Celcius, Fahrenheit, lightyears) in the shade and on this day, I actually went out wearing a non-maternity dress I already owned and convinced myself that it was on the shorter side now because of the bowling ball strapped to my midsection but should be fine only to find that every time there was a slight breeze I was in danger of indecent exposure. It would have been highly reminiscent of Marilyn Monroe except that I am not blond, it was not the least bit sexy, and had Marilyn swallowed a watermelon whole before stepping on that subway grate. We had to make a stop at the mall before heading to the festival once I realized this and I was much more comfortable for it.
I know a lot of women who were very conscientiously pregnant, for whom this 10 months is a time of research and being cautious. I admire them. Mostly I am too lazy to Marie Kondo every piece of food I put in my mouth, holding it up to the scrutiny of whether it gives me joy, is farm-to-table, organic, and nutrient dense. I don’t eat kale any more often than I did when I wasn’t growing a fetus (which is to say that I never eat it). We initially bought a stack of baby books and a few onesies (and have been gifted a few different items) and more recently a car seat but other than that we have no made baby-related purchases whatsoever. And if nesting is an actual thing, it has either completely passed me by or has yet to hit me. We don’t have a color picked out for the nursery because babies can’t tell colors apart for the first few months of life so who are we even painting for (read: we are lazy)? I wish I could say that I at least legalistically apply sunscreen now but I don’t. One of the pregnancy books I skimmed suggested moving if you live in an area with a lot of air pollution and it made me wonder whether there are actually couples that move to New Zealand for the duration of the pregnancy? Wow. Hats off to them.
For the most part, I feel like we are as prepared as can be in terms of knowledge and stuff, which is to say that we are woefully unprepared and clueless but don’t think we can change that fact by worrying about it.
That’s not to say that I don’t worry at all. Like all expectant first-time parents, we are daunted at the supreme task of being responsible for a human being. Mainly, though, what I am daunted by is the prospect of bringing a newborn home to a house that doesn’t have Netflix. Whenever I visit a new mom, they all seem to have mindless shows in a constant Netflix loop. What will I do without this critical survival tool??? Is it even possible? Why isn’t this issue addressed in any of the pregnancy books instead of all those neverending lectures on the importance of nutrition?