For our third anniversary, Adan and I had booked a beach getaway to Barra de Navidad. It’s a bit further out than Vallarta and much less touristy, which can be both a good thing and a bad thing. We loved that it was more peaceful and low-key. The bad part? We found restaurants to be just as expensive as Vallarta but not as good. And as a general rule of thumb, we realized that the more breathtaking the view, the less tolerable the food tended to be.Like this place? Gorgeous view, but the shrimp was just so-so. It reminded me of that stereotype of how really pretty girls tend to not be funny or smart or have a good personality because they just never needed to develop those characteristics. (I for one think this is a wildly inaccurate stereotype. Either that or I just happen to know a lot of outliers). I guess these restaurant owners must think that if you have a lovely view, no one will notice the food.
I mean, I guess there is some merit to that. Look at those views! (Here I refer to both the ocean and the handsome man 🙂
Went through a bit of a Goldilocks conundrum with my vacation reading… first picking up Donna Tartt’s The Goldfinch, which was riveting but also highly depressing (explosion at a museum, death, PTSD, murder, substance abuse, orphaned protagonist, etc., etc.,) then Ellen DeGeneres’s Seriously… I’m Kidding, which was too fluffy and insubstantial. Finding the “just right” book to read by the pool can be a challenge. (Big Little Lies strikes that perfect balance of engrossing and funny.)It’s been a bit of a bah humbug sort of month. Just… I don’t know… doubting and anxiety and emotional exhaustion. I don’t often daydream about what could have been or think about how my life might have turned out differently had this or that not been the case, but lately I find myself mulling it over which I know is not healthy or productive. It seems cathartic at the very least to admit to the fact that I’m struggling with it.
Still, there are things in my life that are constant and wonderful sources of comfort. Like thinking that I have been lucky enough to be married to this guy for three years.
My friend Shannon always says, “Marriage rocks!” and I have to say I agree with her. One of the best things about marriage is that by some implicit arrangement you almost never are freaking out at the same time to the same degree. Usually, if one of you is losing it (in this case, me), the other person is calm. And then, once the first person finds their bearings, only then is it okay for the second person to get bogged down in self-doubt and anxiety (okay, again, usually me). In short, no matter what the crisis, you have someone there holding your hand and talking you off the ledge.
Another great thing about marriage is that I can now watch crime/detective shows at night. Once, when we had been married less than a year, Adan was away at an overnight men’s retreat and I watched a few episodes of Elementary and I was wide awake all night, thinking that I would be murdered the moment I closed my eyes. This used to happen to me when I was single even if I happened to just watch the trailer for a scary movie.
Also, (though I admit this is true specifically in the context of being married to Adan and not a truism about marriage in general) no matter what you put in front of the man for dinner, he is going to think it’s the best meal he’s ever had. He eats with enthusiasm and is always impressed by how “fancy” the meal is, how I must have slaved over it (even if it’s something I made in the crock pot, which let’s face it, the only thing easier than a crock pot meal is ordering a pizza), impressed as if you’d just sawed a person in half and then put them back together in front of a live audience. He’s too funny.
And lastly, being married to him is a treat because he almost always is the one to apologize first after a fight. I mean, I guess technically this might make him the “bigger person” but I like to think that there’s value in being the one to offer him opportunities for growth.